On to the Next

Another year gone, another year ahead. It seems this one has passed by faster than before, though I feel the years are going by faster every year. Reflecting on the past year, there are some things that stick out more than others.

-I quit my job as a groomer at the animal hospital I had worked at since high school, leaving behind a WHOLE lot of unneeded stress.
-I tried my hand at being a stay-at-home mom, but we soon discovered that our finances wouldn't allow it. So...
-I began my new job as a veterinary assistant, and it's awesome!
-Our old pup Caffeine had to be put down after 17 years of hikes, playtimes, car rides, and just all-around good times.
-After realizing that I missed grooming so much (as well as having some old clients asking if I was still grooming), I started a side business out of my home on the weekends. It's not insanely busy, but it helps out and I love seeing the dogs.
-One of my good friends and former coworker married the love of her life. Congrats April and Jeff!
-Not one, but TWO new people entered my brother's life!
-We planted our first little garden, and even managed to get some produce out of it! We'll have to do some tweaking for this year's.
-Our little monkey turned one!!!
-Many words have been added to said monkey's vocabulary, including (but not limited to): dog, truck, sock, shoe, no, yes, sheesh!, gosh!, cookie, cracker, juice, and yellow.
-After less than a year since they began their journey, my brother and sister-in-law (and neice!) welcomed two new faces into their home, all the way from Ethiopia. Fiyori Rae and Kokeb "Kobe" James Miller.
-In honor of them, we all tried Ethiopian food for the first time...and rather enjoyed it (most of us, anyway!).
-Mike was put in a new (hopefully permanant) position at work as an armed guard. He now finally has a set schedule.
-Another good friend had her first child. Welcome Cannon Gage Deane!
-Two of my coworkers also welcomed their first children. Welcome Collins and Silas!
-We survived the end of the world...again!!!!!!! ;-)

Looking forward to the next year, as always I have hopes and dreams. Not resolutions, as they tend to be followed for a short time then forgotten. These are just what I wish will happen in the next year.

-I will lose weight. Hopefully at least some. My back has been killing me more and more each day, an my sciatic nerve shoots with pain from time to time, so any bit will help. I've picked up a yoga DVD that I'm excited to try. It'll be hard, but hopefully I can stick with it.
-Get healthier in general. Eat more veggies and fruits, less pasta and bread.
-We'll win the lottery!!!!! (well, one could hope...)

Yep, that's it. Not much else. Just live as best I can, love as much as I can, laugh a whole lot, and cherish every moment.

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

I realize that it's been quite some time since I have written. With schedules here and there and really just not much to talk about, I've let the blog go to the wayside. But here I am again, on Christmas Day, no less.
I'm not sure how many people read this. I've got a few faithful followers, but maybe some passers-by will scan their screens and take in my message. Whether you believe in the true meaning of Christmas or not, I hope that you can take a little bit away from this.
It's been a little rough this year. I finally got away from one nightmare early in the year, which has made a lot of difference. Mike's schedule has been one of frustration, but that seems to have finally calmed. We both have taken some heavy pay cuts, which has taken its toll, but we've managed. With the help of family and God, we couldn't have done it any other way.
I've mentioned before that I'm not the preaching type. I've never really been one to go on about the glory of God, even though I've felt it myself. This year, however, I feel I've scooted just a tiny bit closer into His light. I've always known that He's been looking out for me and my family, but it was always something that I guess I took for granted. This year I've opened my eyes a little wider and have actually seen the wonders He has done in my life. Yes, we've had down times. But He has gotten us through them.
I've also explained on here the title of my blog and why I'd chosen it (and recently found that I'm not the only one who this happens to, it seems...so I'm not completely crazy!)...about feeling that God sends me messages through songs. Not too long ago we were going through a very rough patch, and I didn't know what to do. So I prayed. I prayed hard. I prayed a lot. Finally, one night while I was lying in bed, after I had just finished praying, a song came on the radio (we have the radio on a country station at nights when we sleep). I heard it, and realized almost immediately it was from Him. But the message in it was one I was worried about. If anyone's heard the song "Love, Your Baby Girl" by Sugarland then you know what it's about. I went to sleep that night thinking maybe it was just a coincidence, that it wasn't any kind of message, because I couldn't possibly have the guts to do what the song implied. A few days later, a few days closer to the deadline, I started to panic more. So I prayed in earnest again. As soon as I finished my prayer, the song played on the radio. I knew it to be the message it was, so I argued back (since I'm stubborn like that and think I can "argue" with God...HA!). I said that it wasn't possible, made excuses, for myself and the other party. I went to bed, hoping He had another plan. In the morning, I woke up and prayed again (and apologized for the night before!). As before, the song came on. I conceded. I realized it was the only way. So I did as He said and was pleasantly surprised by the outcome.
Well, the past week I've had another prayer. At the end one night, I asked what I can do. Being the Christmas season, obviously the radio has been riddled with songs of the season. So when I heard "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas," again I thought coincidence. The next day in the car I talked to God, asking what to do. The song played. The next day I turned the music down to give God my full attention (aside from the attention I was giving the road). When I turned the music back up, I heard the first few familiar notes. And then a calm came over me and the worry I had left. And I knew He was there, He would help as he always does. He wanted me to enjoy His Son's birthday with friends and family, as I should. He knew I was getting irritable as I do when I worry, what with snapping at my husband (sorry, honey!) and losing my patience occasionally with Jake. That's no way to spend a holiday. Especially one such as this.
So, on this most special of days, I extend what I believe to be the Lord's message.

"Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Let your heart be light
From now on your troubles will be out of sight

Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Make the Yuletide gay
From now on your troubles will be miles away"

Jugglin' All the Thoughts in my Head

So...um...wow...it's been a little while. And I apologize for that. Well, I apologize to the ones that actually are interested in my day-to-day life, not to the ones that just read to pass the time. Though, I guess I apologize to you guys, too, because by not posting I've made you guys have to find some other entertainment.
The reason I'm finally putting my thoughts down again is because I have to say...I CAN'T WAIT FOR FALL!!!! Yep, that was it. No big thing. Well, it's not just fall. I have so many things going on in my head right now, it's just crazy! I guess let me individualize things...

1) As I said, I can't wait for fall. Cooler weather, leaves changing, windows being able to be opened, not sweating, football (yes, I'm actually eager for football...real football...not preseason stuff).

2) Before that, however, I can't wait until this coming weekend. My brother and sister-in-law are overseas AS WE SPEAK getting my new neice and nephew, all the way from Ethiopia! (You can check out her blog for more details) They're flying back in to Virginia for all the East Coast family to meet the li'l tykes, and I can't wait. I've read the story. I've seen the pictures. I can't wait to see them in person and let them meet their new cousins.

3) Another big thing flying around through my head is the holidays. Yep, you bet. I said it. HOLIDAYS! I want to decorate our house. Maybe have a get-together? Not sure about that yet. That's another thing to think about! I have Pinterest to blame. I'm addicted to that site...there's so many great ideas on there! I've tried especially to find pins for gift ideas...which I've found some pretty good ones. Especially some to give me ideas for Mike, who is so hard to shop for/give gifts to. I've got a list going of pretty good ideas. They may not be big, but hopefully he'll like them.

4) Painting. Not art painting. Painting the house. Mike and I swung by Lowes today and I picked up a paint idea pamphlet. The kitchen and dining area turned out so great, I want to move on to the living room and entry hall. I'd like to attack the office, but that'll just be on hold for a little while longer. I was thinking a golden yellow for the entry. It's already yellow in there now, but there's some patches that need to be covered, plus I want a slightly bolder color. For the living room, I found a darker, dusty blue color that would look nice. Though I don't know if it would look okay completely that color. The furniture is dark, and I'm afraid if I did a dark wall, the already small room would look even tinier. Maybe do half the wall blue? I'll have to work on it.

So, yep...that's about it. Random tidbits of my thoughts revealed to the public. I think that's all. Hopefully it won't be as long a wait for my "random tidbits" next time.

Beautiful Boy

In less than twenty-four hours it'll be your first birthday. Right now you don't realize how big of a deal that is, but that's okay. It's more of a big thing for mommy and daddy and all your relatives than it is for you. All you'll know is that there'll be a lot of people around and I'm sure a lot of presents and a lot of food and, aside from the fact that you'll probably go into the pool (the really big bathtub in Mema and Pawpaw's backyard), it's not much different from Christmas. But it is a big deal, little man. A whole year ago you made your first appearance into this world, coming into it with eyes wide open and curious. I can only hope that you'll always stay that way through life. This past year has proven it to be true, and I'm certain that's not going to change any time soon.
We've watched in awe and wonder, with a touch of humor, as you've grown and learned. Right now you're torn between not wanting to be alone and yet wanting to be independent. You're enjoying cuddle time, especially with mommy and Mema, and yet can't wait to be off on an adventure! You're learning to love books, for which I am very thankful and had hoped you would. You like to flip through them and you reach for your "My Dog" book every night at bedtime. Mommy'll read to you and make you giggle with the silly voices and motions and then let you flip through when she's done. I love watching you turn the pages, and then search each page with your hands and your eyes for the different textures of the doggies' fur and the boy's shorts.
Speaking of textures, and animals for that matter, you LOVE your kitty and doggies. You hear Cali's bell jingling and start to look around and meow for her. She loves you so much. You're a little rough with her, but she seems to know you won't hurt her and you are learning to be more gentle. Lady entertains you with her bark. She gives you lots of doggie kisses, too, which you don't know how to take sometimes. You can say "doggie," "Lady," "kitty," and a few other words now (well, well enough that they can be understood!).
At mealtime, you're alternating silly and fussy. I'm not entirely sure what happens that makes you fussy out of the blue, but usually it's not for long and are easily swayed back to silliness again. You have four teeth, two upper and two lower, and just the other day seemed to amaze yourself that they can bite off a bean, instead of putting the entire thing in your mouth. Speaking of which...you need to slow down, child! Chew your food, or at least gum it some! I know right now you want to be a big boy and feed yourself, but just because there's a bunch of pieces of food in front of you doesn't mean we want you to eat them all in one mouthful! You do love food, though. If we go out to a restaurant you want to eat, too, as long as someone has food on their plate you think you need to eat! At home, even though you've already eaten, if you see mommy or daddy with food you want some, too.
At Mema and Pawpaw's, you are definitely Pawpaw's little buddy. You go for walks sometimes, or just sit in the living room eating popcorn and "flipping" the coaster. As soon as you see him, you demand to be picked up. You love Mema, too, but it's Pawpaw you want to see the most.
There is one strange thing that has happened this past year, and I'm not entirely sure what to make of it. You'll hear mommy talk about someone in the house sometimes. It started before you were here and goes off and on. The first time it started with you was when you were six or seven months, I think. You woke up crying one night and when mommy got up to go check on you, someone turned on your mobile and you went back to sleep. You can see him, I know. You'll talk to him at night sometimes. He'll sit in the chair in your room and you'll smile, then look at me and smile. You try to reach for him sometimes, but you don't realize that he can't pick you up. He's gone away again for now, but I'm sure he's not too far away. Mommy thinks she knows who you're seeing, and he won't hurt you. He's here just to keep an eye on you, and possibly mommy. When you're older and can understand, you'll have to get mommy or Pawpaw to tell you about him.
There's so many things I could put down that you have discovered. You can stand on your own now, and can walk around with the help of furniture, but you're not ready to take that step away on your own. I'm sure the day you decide to do that is the last day I'll be able to keep up with you! You look at everything and study everything, and I can see your mind working, trying to make sense of it. And when you do, you turn to mommy or daddy and give us a big smile! Keep trying to make sense of things, little man. Keep trying to figure stuff out. Keep learning. But just don't get too big too fast, okay?

We love you, monkey. Happy birthday, baby.

She's Somebody's Hero

People do not fully comprehend a mother's job. A lot of people see the mom picking up the toys, wiping drippy noses, or sometimes even "ignoring" the tantrum going on in the middle of the store. Mom's don't do much, they think.One thing I think of is the new Mother's Day jewelry commercial (I think it's Zales or something...I know it's not Jared!). The mom does EVERYTHING...she finds the stuffed animal under the couch. She points her husband in the direction of his files (or whatever he's searching for). She chases down the bus because her child forgot his/her lunch. Moms have so much responsibility. It's not like a puppy...you can't just play with it and feed it once or twice a day and give it treats then put it out in the yard. They have a little person to take care of. You've got the poopy diapers to change, the boo-boos to fix, the fits to deal with when they're so tired but they won't go to sleep.
As for the tantrums in the store...some of the women do actually just ignore their child, while others aren't sure what to do. A bunch of people that I've heard comment on a situation like that will say, "Smack that child!" But we, as a society, are so intolerant of violence or child abuse that it's been made hard to draw the line between discipline and abuse. So, rather than face the wrath or condescension of onlookers, they just note it in their mental child behavior chart and save it for later.
But this wasn't meant to be a soap box for an issue this time. This entry is to celebrate motherhood and acknowledge and thank mothers all over the world. I'd especially like to thank my own mother for all she's done (sounds like an awards show, doesn't it?). She raised five of us and I know it wasn't easy at times. We didn't make it easy at times! (And for that, I'm sorry!) Between running us to sports games, the doctor, friends' houses, the doctor (that's right, I'm talking about you, Eric!), school, the doctor (okay, I'm talking about myself here...what with spraining my ankle at school as well as breaking my wrist on the swings), plays, parties, camp...you name it, it seems between the five of us we've been to it all. Mom would get frazzled at times, but very, VERY rarely did she let it show. The main thing she did show us was love. She didn't hold that back. Now having a child of my own, I can only hope to be like her, the greatest role model there is. She let us be us, encouraging us where it was needed, helping us back up if we fell, leading us back to the path if we got lost. Only here in the recent years have I started talking to her...really TALKING to her...about things the way friends do, and my only regret is that I didn't do this sooner (I wouldn't talk to her for anything in school!). I actually was a little sad when I'd quit my job (definitely not because of the job!) because we would talk when I'd drop Jake off and when I'd pick him up. Yeah, I know we live close, but this was a daily thing and I'd looked forward to it. I think one of the best memories I have is when I was little, before I was in school though all my brothers were, mom and I would go for walks. There was a trail on the property down to the river that we usually took. It splits and goes on either side of a creek. Mom would ask me which way I wanted to go and we usually took one side, the closer side. But then, one time, we took the farther side and I noticed all these tiny purple flowers. Now, I was the kind of kid that picked dandelions for mom, just to give her flowers (and at least for a little while she would put them in water in her little crystal bud vase). But I saw these little purple flowers and thought they were soooooo pretty that mom HAD to have them. Those little flowers were violets. And even today if I see them anywhere they make me smile (and sometimes even get the urge to pick them!) because they're mom's and my flowers.
This is a very long entry, I know. Especially since I haven't written in a little while. And even though I've only had about a year's worth of experience in this area, I know everything I've written is true and from the heart.

(Side note: when I heard this song when I first got the CD a few years ago, it immediately reminded of you, mom. I love you so much!)

And You, Sir, Do Not Have a Pair of Vegetables...

Okay, that's the strange radio-edited version of "Red Solo Cup" by Toby Keith, but it was the only thing I could come up with for a musical title!
I write today to talk about compost. Yep, you read right. I said compost. Okay, so that's not the only thing I'm writing about. I have decided that this year I'm going to put in a veggie garden in the backyard. I've been wanting to for a while, but the first year we had just moved in and were trying to get settled. Then the second year (last year) I was pregnant and not really in the mood for garden maintenance. But this year, especially with my work schedule, I'm hoping to put one in and get it started. I think there is nothing better than fresh vegetables. Call me crazy (maybe not literally), but I think there's even a better taste than store-bought, and definitely better than canned (from the store...I might mention home-canned later). Not to mention, it'll save us a bit on the grocery bill, which is a huge plus. If it's successful, I hope to continue gardening to show Jake and any future children the benefits. And, in one of my books I bought (for a steal at the Green Valley Book Fair, I might add), you can burn a lot of calories by working out in the garden, which helps with my weight loss!
I've always had this little urge to go back to basics: growing my own food, canning, making what I can, etc. I would love to have livestock if I could, but a small garden is the biggest bite I'm taking right now! I'm totally serious, though. If we ever get the land, I would love to try my hand at raising chickens or maybe a cow. Now, I realize my family reads this blog and their eyes are probably bulging from their sockets. This is just a desire I have. Obviously in no way is this in the near future, or even a farther future than the near future. But I do have a yearning to go back to "the old ways." Maybe the Amish have it right (there are other cultures, I'm sure, but they're the first that come to mind). They grow their own food. They bake their own bread. They sew their own clothes. What do the rest of us do? We as a people on this earth I believe rely too much on others than on ourselves. We've really become quite lazy. Images of "Wall-E" come to mind (for those that haven't seen it, it really is a good movie and makes you think a little). Why has a piece of paper or a small chunk of metal become more important than the essentials that keep us alive? People kill for it, when they could have taken that energy and put it to something useful.
But I digress...this is not an entry to make an economic statement. Well, not as bold a one as I was heading to make. That's for a later time. Right now, I'm excited about starting a garden and hope to keep having one for years to come. I'm also hoping to learn from mom about canning and preserving, so we can enjoy our veggies all year round. I'd like to put in cucumbers, tomatoes, spinach, green peppers, and broccoli. I'm kinda thinking I'd like to try carrots in planters, but I'm not sure if I want to take that on just yet. I'm not very good with potted plants, so the carrots may not make it very far. But they say it's a good one for little kids, so maybe I'll try it when Jake's a little older.
So when dad gets the rototiller up and running, he's gonna come over and till up a plot for us. I don't have the greenest thumb, so wish me luck!

Side note: I realize that I didn't really actually talk about compost at all! But I'd really like to start a pile or get one of the bins. If anyone has suggestions on the topic, I'd appreciate it!

I Got Mad Visions, Pictures and Premonitions

First of all, I can't remember if I've mentioned in previous posts that occasionally I have prophetic dreams. Whether people choose to believe me or not, it's true. I don't have them all the time, and in fact, they tend to be nightmares instead of dreams. Every now and then I'll have three nightmares three nights in a row. Unfortunately, when they happen, I don't know which night is the "prophecy," if you will. And even then, it's not like my dreams/nightmares are a play-by-play, this-is-going-to-happen scenario. I believe I saw the events the night my friend from high school died, as well as...yes, I'm going to say it...the "Virginia Tech Massacre." I won't go into details unless someone really wants to know, but it's not until after the event happens that I fully understand the nightmare I had which is normally a few weeks to months prior to the event.

All of that being said, occasionally...actually RARELY do I have premonitions, for lack of a better word. Basically what I mean is I'm fully awake. It has been known to happen, but it's usually even more few and far between than the nightmares. Although, there was one entire week that I had thoughts and images in my head that came to fruition. For example: When I worked at the animal hospital, one day we had a greyhound come in for bloodwork. My coworker and I didn't know anything about it, really. While she was getting all of her equipment ready, I had this random thought, "You know, it's funny. I've NEVER seen a mean greyhound. It'd be really strange if this one turned out to be mean." Stupid thought to think. Next thing I know, my coworker went to stick the dog (who we hadn't muzzled) and he whipped around and bit my hand pretty bad. Come to find out, the dog was extremely mean and nothing was supposed to be done without a muzzle. The next day, I'd had a whole bunch of "skunk dogs" come in (dogs sprayed by skunks) for deskunking. All I could think of was two of my regulars that run around and get into everything and how it was only a matter of time before they came in for deskunking. Guess who I had the next day?

All this being said, my latest is kind of a big one, because it happened not months, not weeks, but DAYS before the event. About three nights ago I couldn't sleep. At all. I tossed and turned. I closed my eyes. Nothing. I tried to relax and clear my mind, but all I could think of was what I would do if the house caught on fire. What would my escape plan be? Could I manage to grab a few mementos to be saved? How could I get the pets out? What if Jake and I got caught on the second floor? No matter how I tried, I couldn't get the issue of a house fire out of my head. I even told Mike that I couldn't sleep that night. Then, today, Mike and I are in the kitchen and we heard sirens. Where we are in Culpeper, we're pretty near the fire station, so when they get a call we can hear them pulling out. But these were close. Mike had just mentioned that they sounded like they were getting closer when we looked out the back door and saw smoke pouring from a house on the street behind us, the fire engines lining up in front. While I stayed at the house with Jake, Mike went down to the other street for a closer look. Thankfully, he said it looked like no one had been terribly hurt and that they thought it was a grease fire that started it. But all I could think of was the other night when I couldn't sleep and the images going through my mind.