Every Day is a Winding Road

Tonight for story time, Jake picked out one from his "Veggietales Bible Storybook," which is a collection of Veggietale versions of Bible stories followed by the actual Bible verses. (Side note: He's been picking from this book a lot lately...proud mama!)
So tonight he picked "Josh and the Big Wall," which comes from Joshua 5:13-6:27. This is the story of Jericho.
In the VeggieTales version, God tells Joshua to march around the city, which the other Israelites thought sounded silly and Jimmy and Jerry Gourd planned instead to use the Walminator 3000 to knock the walls down. Ever-wise young Junior Asparagus steps in and says, "Things always work out better when we do things God's way instead of our way!" Later, after the Israelites have succeeded and the walls came down, Joshua explains, "Sometimes God asks us to do things that don't make sense to us. But when we remember that God loves us and wants what's best for us, we can be sure that his way is the best way."
This hit me tonight...hard. I'm sure many of you feel this way, but for me, I've planned all I could for how I wanted my life to turn out. Some things happened, maybe not HOW I wanted them to happen, but they happened. Others, not so much. It may be frustrating at the time, but then I've come to realize His way truly is the best way. It's almost at times like God wants us to take the scenic route when all we want to do is just get to the destination and rest. Don't fight it. Just learn, grow, and take in the scenery.

*Another side note that I just realized while typing this is the fact that in the past few days, the verse Joshua 1:9 has been popping up everywhere: license plates, insprational quotes on Facebook and Pinterest, etc.
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."

Where Were You When the World Stopped Turning that September Day?

I decided to tell Jake about today. I know you're probably wondering, "Why would you tell your FOUR-year-old about what happened?!" I think I got caught up in a teaching moment, plus we were going over today's date, and he had just watched me scroll through my Facebook feed and saw all the picture posts and a short video about the building of the memorial tower that's been happening over the past few years.
So we're sitting at the kitchen table where we do homeschooling and I told him that today is Friday, September 11. I told him that it's also known as Patriot Day or Remembrance Day. Then I went on to tell him the history.

Me: A long time ago--fourteen years--something really bad happened.
Jake: What happened?
Me: Some really bad men took over some planes and hurt (*hesitation*) and killed a lot of people. Do you remember seeing the pictures on the computer that mommy was looking at? And the video of the construction job with the cranes building something.
Jake: Yeah.
Me: Well, the pictures had two towers, known as the Twin Towers, because they looked the same. The bad men steered the planes into those towers. And those towers fell. And because of it a lot of people lost ones they loved--mommies and daddies and friends and relatives.

The entire time Jake's face was very somber, and I could tell he was trying to make it make sense to him. He looked almost about to cry when he asked me the question.

"But why did they do that, mommy? Why?"

All I could come up with to make it simplistic enough for him was, "Because they were very bad men."

I didn't go into any more detail than that, and yes, I left out the Pentagon and the Pennsylvania flight because after that question and seeing his expression I was afraid either I'd lose it or I scare him too much. Again, I don't know what possessed me to tell my young son those things. A part of me was thinking to show him good and evil, and cause and effect. A part of me was just trying to throw some history into our homeschooling.
Each year I see people remembering that day, whether on my Facebook feed or on the news. I remember that day. I was in French class in high school. Mrs. Blankenbaker had given us some work and then left the room. She came back in with a TV, and we all got excited as students do, thinking we were going to get to watch a movie or something and wouldn't have to do much work. The teacher said nothing to us as she closed the door and went about setting up the TV. She turned it on, but didn't put in a movie. Instead, she switched it to the news. An image of the Twin Towers, one smoking, came on the screen. I think she may have explained what was going on, but I don't really remember as I listened to the news anchor describing the scene. We all forgot about our work and moved closer, I sat on the floor with some of my friends. Then the second plane hit the second tower. There was a collective gasp through our small class. We heard some hurried footsteps out in the hallway, someone going to/coming from the bathroom or a teacher or principal spreading the news, I don't know. My eyes were glued to the screen. Time went by, I'm not sure how long it was, but the second I turned my eyes away from the screen, my friend next to me gasped so loud that I whipped my head back--I felt my stomach lurch as I watched the first tower begin to crumble. Soon after that (Or was it a while? Time was doing its own thing.), I saw it start to happen and yelled out, "There goes the second one!" I heard some more noises from the hall: hurried footsteps, some crying. The news was also talking about the Pentagon having been hit as well. I remember the teacher saying something about calling family members, and all I could think of was my dad, as I knew he was working at the time as an electrician in northern Virginia and I had thought near or in Washington, DC (I later found out he wasn't anywhere near the Pentagon, though he was able to see the smoke from his job site), and my oldest brother, who at the time worked on an upper floor in a high-rise building in Philadelphia. Even though it wasn't anywhere near the attacks, my over-reacting mind had this thought that the entire nation was under attack, and therefore he was in danger as well. That, and I'd heard about the plane in Pennsylvania, but I didn't know where it was.
The rest of that day was a blur, again because all I could think about was my dad and my brother. People spoke in hushed, excited voices. Some students wanted to leave. It was a terrible, horrible day. And we as a nation will never forget it.

I Have Been Blessed

We have this devotional book that Mike got from the chaplain for Christmas when he worked at the jail. I'm not NEARLY as good as I should be about reading it daily, but I'll try to pick it up when I can. Today was one of the days.

As I was flipping through to get to today's devotional, the pages got stuck together on August 3rd. Curious, I decided to read it. This is what it says:

"You shall serve the Lord your God, and I will bless your bread and your water..." --Exodus 23:25

  "Four generations of the family are gathered at a beach rental house for a summer vacation. Not everyone is here at once. Some are coming for the day; some arrive for a few days and then have to go back to work.

  We never know exactly how many are going to be here for dinner. Getting a head count can be difficult. Carol or Mom or my sister or I make calls before going to the market: 'Are you coming tonight?'

  Beach time proves elusive for many, but everybody tries to make dinner. My niece has dished up Rice Krispie Treats topped with chocolate for dessert; my brother-in-law brings tomatoes he's grown in his garden; my sister-in-law has made a hummus dip. We come in from the sand, take a shower, change clothes, and gather as the sun slips into the ocean. The conversation bounces from subject to subject: what the kids are doing in school, the new dog, how work is going, baseball scores. Someone's making a salad, burgers are on the grill, zucchini is almost finished.

  Dinner is on the counter and we serve ourselves, complimenting the chefs. There are so many of us tonight that we can't all fit at the table. How did our family grow so large? Everybody's ready and the call goes out, 'Who says grace tonight?' Mike volunteers, and in a voice so loud it can be heard down the beach, he begins, 'Dear God...' We grab hands.

  I feel my eighty-something-year-old mom's grip in one hand and my teenage niece's in the other, the words of Mike's prayer ringing in my ears. Should we be surprised that Jesus first offered the gift of Himself to His disciples at a meal? In a beach rental, the generations linked, we give thanks for all we've been given. Soon we will leave this place, return to our homes. But for now we hold on to what is important: each other. 'Amen,' we say. 'Amen.'

  Lord, thank You for large families where generations can join hands and pray. Bless this food to our use and us to Your service. Amen. --Rick Hamlin"

All I could think of when I read this was our large family. The Virginia branches of my family got together today for an impromptu cookout at my parents'. Some pop in for a bit, others stay later. It's a little crazy when all, or even most, of my family gets together. Good crazy. I wouldn't trade my family for anything, and I am incredibly blessed to have been born into such a one as mine. You can't help but feel the love radiating from the house.

Happy Birthday to You!

To our little monkey man,
It's that time of year. I go back and have to read previous posts I've written, just to see how far you've come and what milestones you've hit. You're growing into quite the young man. So much has happened this past year (unfortunately not all of it good). You had to go into the hospital for a little while a few months ago because you were really sick with pneumonia. Mommy and daddy were so worried. Mommy stayed with you the whole time, though, only leaving your side once when she had to go to the doctor herself. Papaw snuck in some of Mema's cookies for you, which made you feel a little better. As your mother, I forbid you to get sick like that again, do you understand?
Another big thing that happened this year is you got a baby sister, Evie! You are such an AWESOME big brother to her and a big help to mommy and daddy. You like to sing to her, kiss her, give her her pacifier, and the other day I heard you telling her the sounds different animals make. You even "read" to her occasionally.
You tell mommy and daddy all the time that you're a big boy now. You insist that you can do different things, or that you shouldn't have to do things, because you're a big boy, and big boys do/don't do that stuff. You're still having a little setback with potty training, as you will still poo in your pull-up, usually overnight. During the day you'll use the potty no problem, and have even for the most part stopped completely stripping down just to use the bathroom. You'll just pull your pants down and then back up when finished (thankfully!).
Around the house you're a big help. We haven't set up specific chores for you yet, but you'll help mommy with laundry, unloading the dishwasher, feeding the dogs, bringing in the groceries and putting them away, and helping mommy clean up after she grooms. It takes quite a bit of coaxing to get you to clean your toys downstairs, but you're pretty good about cleaning your room and making your bed. One thing that mommy loves is how you'll randomly wrap your arms around mommy and kiss her cheek if you can and say sweetly, "I love you, mommy!" You don't do it as much to daddy, but you will tell him you love him on occasion.
You still love learning like I mentioned last year (yay!). You have a bag of learning tools, mainly from Mema, as well as flash cards of colors, shapes, and numbers that you love to get out and look at. You are so smart, too. Mema has a fuzzy die that you play with when we're over there and you don't have to physically count the numbers on each side. You just take one glance and declare what it is. You know all your numbers up to 20 (though you do tend to leave out fourteen for some reason), shapes, colors (and even are starting to learn what color combinations make what color), and letters. You're trying to learn how to tell time, which really has mommy flabbergasted. You ask mommy and daddy all the time what time it is. I think you're starting to catch on a little bit to reading digital time. You have a wooden analog clock that you got from Miss Ashley from church that you pull out and study/play with occasionally. We're always amazed as well how you pick up words, and even use them correctly (Ex: You told me not long ago that you evolved from a cat to a dog in a past life.)
That being said, kid, you say some of the craziest things! I've taken to sharing our conversations on Facebook for everyone to see. The things you come up with in your little mind are so off the wall, I don't know how you come up with them (like the past life conversation).
I did an interview with you a few days ago and this is what I came up with:

-What’s your favorite color? Yellow and just red and just orange. Wait. Blue, green, and pink, and orange. Because Team Umizoomi, because Bot is green, and Millie’s dress is pink, and Geo is blue, and Umi car is orange. So I only like yellow, green, and orange.

-What’s your favorite toy? Green lawnmower

-What’s your favorite fruit? Oranges

-What’s your favorite TV show? Team Umizoomi and Paw Patrol

-What’s your favorite thing for lunch? Jelly sandwiches

-What’s your favorite outfit? Dinosaur shirt

-What’s your favorite snack? Popcorn

-What’s your favorite animal? Lizards and a pig

-What’s your favorite song? ABC

-What’s your favorite book? Thomas book

-Who’s your best friend? Big Jacob

-What’s your favorite cereal? Cheerios

-What do you like to do outside? Water table

-What’s your favorite drink? Juice

-What’s your favorite holiday? The one with candy and Batman (Halloween)

-Who sleeps with you at night? Ruff and blanket

-What do you like to eat for breakfast? I LOVE pancakes!

-What do you want to be when you grow up? A big boy.

I think that's about it for this year, monkey. Next year we'll have to get you signed up to go to kindergarten! Mommy doesn't know what she's going to do then. You're excited at the prospect of starting school, and even tell me all the time that you want to go to school. Hopefully you'll still feel this way when you actually do start.
Mommy and daddy love you so much, buddy. Happy birthday!

Every Move You Make...I'll Be Watching You

All right! I have a small rant to release here. I may upset some people, I don't know.
I just saw an article (a slightly sarcastic one) that reported allegedly the arresting police officers of the Charleston, SC shooter stopped at a Burger King and bought the shooter some food. That's not what upsets me (well, it does in part, but I'll get to that in a moment). What upsets me is how outraged people are about it. The police in this country just can't win! If they don't listen to the suspect, they get slammed for not listening and possibly preventing a tragedy later. When they do listen, they get ripped to shreds because they helped a horrible person. What the heck, people!
Okay, so I realize part of the outrage has a racial basis. The suspects that weren't acknowledged were black and the one that was is white. Also, the crimes were quite a bit different in severity. And that may be the main background for this outcry of "injustice." If it is, then, yes, I wholeheartedly agree that it's not fair.
We need to lay off the police and direct our disdain to where it needs to be, which is towards the actual criminals. The police are doing their jobs. Yes, as with just about every aspect of life, you have the bad with the good. There are rotten apples in with the shiny, crisp ones. But we can't blame the good ones and judge them on what the bad ones are doing. People complain about police profiling people. What do you think happens to them? The police are used as boogeymen to keep children in line. They're used as threats.
They put their lives on the line EVERY...SINGLE...DAY. They leave their families, their wives, their children every morning, sometimes not even knowing if they'll be returning that evening. We've seen the news. We've seen the videos of traffic stops gone bad. The police take risks for others that I'm pretty sure most of us wouldn't even DARE to attempt. They're doing their jobs, and if you don't cooperate and hassle them, then you make those situations much harder than it has to be, both for you and for them. Cut them some slack. They make mistakes. They're only human.

Keep Fighting the Good Fight

Is it worth it?

That was the sentiment of the sermon this morning. With everything that we've gone through and are still going through, I've been thinking (and praying) a lot. The thinking part is not always good, as I tend to OVER think, or just scenarios run rampant through my mind that don't always have the greatest outcome.
When Jody said those four little words in front of all of us this morning, I immediately perked up. Quite a few times lately a voice in my head uttered those exact words. "Is it worth it? Is it worth all this pain and frustration to still hang on to your faith? Just give it up." Yeah, as hard as it is for me to admit it, I've been going to some dark places in my mind lately. But then something happens--I hear a song, I see something online--and it reinforces my resolve to keep believing. So when I heard where the sermon was going this morning, I knew it was another encouraging message from above.
Jody said something that really stuck with me, that I had to write it down. "When you go through the hard times, you get to experience God's grace in a way you never would." No, I don't expect to go breezing through life without a care in the world. That's just not how things work. If you don't experience the bad stuff, then you won't be able to appreciate the good stuff. It's kind of like Christmas. I LOVE Christmas! The lights, the food, the family, the songs (yeah, I'm one of those people that tunes into a radio station when it switches to the seasonal music!). I would love for Christmastime to be all year round. But then it wouldn't be as magical for me, I wouldn't think. I don't know if that's the best example, but it's what I could come up with.
So, to answer the question "Is it worth it?" Yes, I believe it is. I don't know how long this trial will last, but there WILL be an end and we WILL finally get peaceful (hopefully worry-free) rest.

Update: I realized after finishing this and posting it that I had one more thing to say. With us going through all of this, we have had such an outpouring of support from friends and family. We can't thank people enough for all the help, love, and prayers we have received. So, to answer that little voice in my head of questionable origins, "Is it worth it to hang on to my faith?" Yeah. I think so. If it wasn't worth it then I wouldn't feel such an urgency to keep it, both from within myself, as well as from loved ones that surround me.

Another playlist for you:

"Stronger" ~Mandisa (I've put this one before, but it keeps coming up...hmm, a message?)
"Blessed Be Your Name" ~Tree63
"Good Fight" ~Unspoken
"When You Come Back to Me Again" ~Garth Brooks
"Drops in the Ocean" ~Hawk Nelson
"Let the Waters Rise" ~Mikeschair

An Ode to Mothers

Today is Mother's Day. What? You didn't know? Umm...go call your mother, okay?
On this Mother's Day, I'd like to acknowledge a few people. A few mothers, to be exact.
First, I'd like to send some love to my sisters-in-law. Ya'll do such amazing jobs with your kids. I realize, what with being a mom myself, that a lot goes on behind the scenes that many don't see. But what I do see is awesome. From trips to festivals to spontaneous dance parties in living rooms, you guys make motherhood look so fun.
Second is to my mother-in-law. Debbie, you have done an amazing job raising the man who I am proud to call my husband. If it weren't for you, I don't know who I'd have ended up with. You have taught him not only how to love a woman, but also how to love our Lord, and for that I thank you. I've said it numerous times and I'll say it again: you have welcomed me into your family so easily. You're a wonderful mother-in-law and a great grandmother (not to be confused with great-grandmother!).
Lastly...my own mother. Mom, you are the most awesome mom a girl (or I guess guy, too) could ever have. I know growing up there were some rough patches here and there, but now you are my best friend. You've taught me so much about what it means to be a mother. I hope I can even be half as great a mom to Monkey and Squeaker as you were to all of us. You're my go-to person for just about everything, and I can't wait to tell you about news, whether world news or just my own. I love you, mom.
And to all my mother friends, whether old or new, whether you have multiple children or just one, keep up the good work. Don't be too hard on yourselves as you're doing the best you can. Have fun. Hold your babies close. Give lots of hugs and kisses.

Something Beautiful

I've been hearing Steven Curtis Chapman's song a lot lately (maybe it's a new song?). Some of you know Mike and I have been going through A LOT lately (like, since this year started). We haven't been able to catch a break, between Jake's hospital stay with pneumonia, my bronchitis at the same time, me injuring my ribs just coughing, Mike's beloved great aunt passing, Evie's dramatic entry into this world and subsequent hospital stay, and now Mike being out of work due to an injury that does not want to heal. And those are the big things that we've had to deal with. It's a little overwhelming. But I'm trusting that there's a reason (or reasons) for all of this. I'm finding myself trying to force myself to look for the good through this. Maybe it's my eternal optimism, or maybe it's because I will shatter through whatever it is that is barely holding me together and completely lose it if I don't.
I obviously don't know all the reasons for what's been going on. Heck, I may not know ANY of the reasons, but I can speculate, if nothing else, to make Mike and myself feel better.
For example, because Mike was injured and has been out of work, he has not had to take any additional time off to be present at the funeral nor for all the trips to go visit Evie in the hospital. I figure Evie spent so much time in the hospital to give me a chance to heal from surgery so I'm able to properly take care of her (and everyone else in this household!) when she got home. I'm not sure the reason(s) that Mike has not healed by now, and in fact needs even more time off and is now unable to do the academy this spring to further training for his job, but I'm sure there's a really good one. God has a reason for everything, and I'm trying my darnedest to trust Him completely. It's hard, but He's got this.
I don't normally like showing my struggles. I don't know if it's a "don't show weakness" thing I have or what, but I don't like letting people see this. I'm not looking for sympathy or anything like that. This is not post-partum. We've been through (and are still going through) a lot and I just feel I have to get this out somehow, some way or it'll eat me up. I in a way pride myself on being strong, but one can only be strong so long.

That being said, here's a little happy "playlist" that's been going through my head, if you were curious:

"Something Beautiful" ~Steven Curtis Chapman
"Worn" ~Tenth Avenue North
"You Carry Me" ~Moriah Peters
"Two Sparrows in a Hurricane" ~Tanya Tucker
"Get Back Up" ~Toby Mac
"Tubthumpin'" ~Chumbawumba (yeah, that's a throwback for ya!)
"Overcomer" ~Mandisa
"Stronger" ~Mandisa
"He Said" ~Group 1 Crew

There's Two Sides to a Story

I will say first and foremost that I realize by writing this I may lose some respect from people, I may lose friends, some of you may look at me totally different, and I am probably opening all sorts of cans of worms. But I really would like to express my opinion, and if you don't like what I have to say, I'm sorry.
Also a disclaimer: I may give away some spoilers to those who actually WANT to read the books before judging them, and I'm sorry.
So, if you haven't heard, there's a series of books being turned into a movie (well, the first book is being movied, I don't know about the future of the others) known as "Fifty Shades of Grey." What? You haven't heard of it? That's one soundproof rock you've been living under then. Quite a few of my friends have been posting articles slamming the books and the movie. First of all, I have to say that the movie isn't even OUT yet, so how can you accurately critique something that has only been viewed by a select few? I have patiently read each of these reviews and opinion pieces as I do try to see the other side. I've noticed something about each and every one of the pieces. Yes. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE: The author of the article has not read the books. Most of them admit it straight out, that they don't even WANT to read the books, and the others I can tell they haven't read the books because of information they ASSUME is in them. I'm not writing this to try to convince anyone to change their mind, to read the books or watch the movie. If you don't want to, that's perfectly fine. All I'm saying is don't condemn something so vehemently without any true knowledge of it.
Yes, the "Fifty Shades of Grey" trilogy has sex in it. It even (barely) explores the realm of bondage and sexual sadism. (I'm not trying to make light of that fact, as sexual sadism is not something to take lightly no matter how much or how little there is.) But people keep shouting "abuse" and talking about "forcing" an innocent young virgin to do unimaginable things and even saying that a rich, powerful man is using said power and money to influence such a young and impressionable woman.
That's where I know that the authors of such articles haven't read the books. (And here's where some spoilers may come in.) If they had read them, then they would know that Ana (the main female character) wanted nothing to do with Christian's (the main male character) money and expensive gifts. She tried to return each and every one. She explains to him (when they actually get into a relationship...yeah, they actually DO have a relationship other than sex) that she feels like she's being bought and therefore DOESN'T want the expensive things. Even when they get married in the third book (*gasp* They get married?!), she's not used to having all the money and tries not to use it if she can help it. He offers to make her owner of the publishing company she works for just because he can, but she doesn't want that.
They say she chases him. Hold on just one moment if you will. They go out for coffee and she does get a little dreamy-eyed. He immediately tells her that he "doesn't do the dating thing," and tells her to stay away from him. You know what? SHE TAKES HIS ADVICE! She's upset, but she puts him out of her mind and goes on with her life. HE'S the one that chases her and decides to do things her way. He lets her meet his family. He meets her family. He publicly admits they're dating. Yes, DATING.
They say he makes her do things. She doesn't do anything she doesn't want to. He tells her she can walk away any time. And she does. At the end of the book, SHE wants to know the worst he'll do and he shows her. She IMMEDIATELY leaves. And he's devastated. Why? Because he LOVES her. Yeah, I said it. He loves her.
These books are not about a man trying to abuse, break, demean an innocent woman because he can. It is about a mentally unstable man who is saved from himself and his past by a strong woman. She doesn't give in to him. She does what she wants and he's okay with that. He actually finds that he likes that she fights back with him and argues with him (no, he doesn't like it like THAT...it's not a turn on). I don't care what people say...this trilogy IS a love story. If so-called critics actually read the books, then they'd know that.
I wouldn't say the books/movie glorify the darker realms of sex. No, it's not a tender romance, but it's not dark. It's kinky. It's just unconventional. Not your missionary sex (sorry!). If that's not your cup of tea, then okay.
The main article I keep seeing is this one (I've seen others, but this one seems to be really popular). I will say that these are some of the most ridiculous "points" that any person has made on the subject. 1) If you're good-looking and rich, you can do what you want--Christian doesn't let anyone know (not even his family) what he does. He makes people sign non-disclosure agreements. Obviously it's not something he's particularly proud of. 2) Sex is completely for pleasure--I don't know how the person came to this conclusion exactly. 3) If you stick with a guy long enough he'll change--she's not trying to change him. She's trying to understand him. She doesn't know how it'll work out. She's basically treating this as a relationship, which it is. 4) You can do whatever sexual violence and she'll love it--again, I don't know how they came to this conclusion. She lets him do what SHE wants, what she's okay with. When he shows her his darkest side, the side she can't handle, she leaves.
As for women (or men) taking their significant others to see the movie in hopes to enhance their sexual and/or intimate lives, that's kind of a whole different issue. Yes, sex is supposed to be intimate between you and your mate. But however you and your mate choose to relish in that intimacy is up to you and your mate, not someone telling you what's wrong or right with a certain sexual style.
And I think lastly, as far as the Christian aspect, no, maybe you shouldn't see the movie. But then you shouldn't have seen "Titanic." Maybe you shouldn't have seen "Bridget Jones' Diary." Maybe you shouldn't have seen "Gone With the Wind." Maybe you shouldn't have seen any of the "Twilight" movies (for those that have). Heck, maybe you shouldn't watch any of the "Harry Potter" movies. Yes, I completely put "Fifty Shades of Grey" in the same category of "Harry Potter." Both, if you're going with "I'm a Christian and therefore it's wrong to see it," have aspects that are basically forbidden in the Bible.
I, for one, would like to see the movie. For me it's more for a literary aspect. I read the books and I'm hoping Hollywood won't, well, do what they normally do and screw up the story. I don't know that I want to see it in theaters, per se, but I would like to see it. And if that upsets you, I'm sorry. If you don't want to see it, then don't. If you don't want to read the books, then don't. But don't just read articles by people who ASSUME what something's about and take it as truth. Try to get the whole picture before you decide.

Home

Last week I sent out a mass text to all my family that I really didn't want to have to send: our three-year-old son had been admitted into the Children's Hospital at UVA for atypical, multi-focal pneumonia (Sounds kinda fancy...basically there were about three main spots--multi-focal--of his lungs that were effected. I'm not sure what made it atypical.). We had taken him to the doctor the week before because he had a cough (so did I) that sounded yucky and he had a fever and just generally wasn't feeling well. They said he had a bad respiratory infection and sent him home on the antibiotic amoxicillin. He did better for a couple days, but then drastically went downhill. He didn't want to eat, he barely drank, he didn't smile, he didn't play. He basically slept all day and all night, waking occasionally to cry out. It was the worst time of my life (I know, this isn't about me, but if you're a parent, I think you totally understand what I mean). I didn't know what to do. This wasn't our little monkey. This wasn't the little silly creature that would spin around, stop, and tell me very seriously that his "eyes were all spinny." This wasn't the little cuddler that would randomly throw his arms around my leg and say so sweetly, "I love you, mommy." This wasn't our little boy. He didn't want baths. He didn't want story time. He didn't want smoothies.
So I set up another appointment with our regular doctor (the one before was at MedExpress), who quite literally took one look at his pitiful form and quick, shallow breathing and told us to immediately go to the ER at UVA. We headed on down and were taken back almost immediately. He was a complete trooper when they put a catheter in, even despite having to try two different locations. It took a while, but we were admitted into the pediatric wing that night (Wednesday, January 28th). We thought we'd only be there for the night, get some treatments, and be sent home for recovery. He was a little better the next day, though still not eating or drinking well. He was put on an IV drip and oxygen. Mema and Papaw (my parents) snuck him in some homemade cookies, which he was really happy about, but then started coughing and didn't want anymore. The next day he got worse again. The doctors reassured us that he probably would get worse before getting better, as things started breaking up and moving around and such. I left my bedside vigil that day to go to the doctor myself, as my cough had gotten worse and sinus pressure was painful. Mike had gone earlier that day for his cough (Yeah...the WHOLE family was sick. They say sharing is caring!) and was just diagnosed with a viral infection that had to run it's course. I wasn't quite so lucky and was diagnosed with a bad bronchitis, being put on antibiotics immediately so I didn't wind up in the hospital with Jake. Maybe we could have gotten a family suite?

That may have been the deepest part of our pit, as the following days got better and better. Jake started eating more, was moving around, taken off of oxygen, and finally giving us glimpses of his mischievous smile. We had a slight backslide when his catheter blocked and they couldn't find another good vein (it took them five tries to get one). We could have come home last night, but his breathing was slightly labored so we stayed just to be on the safe side.
Now we are home. He's eating well enough, playing with his toys, watching TV, and slowly getting back to normal. We still have a little way to go yet, both him and me, but by God's great grace, we'll get there.
In true "Life's a Musical" form, I had a few songs go through my head at random moments while in the hospital. They're good songs. You should take a listen.

~"Overwhelmed" Big Daddy Weave
~"Please Come Home Soon" SheDaisy (this was running through my mind after the second day when he started getting worse again...I know it's a military song, but it's all I thought of)
~"Stronger" Mandisa
~"I Will Follow" Chris Tomlin
~"Takes a Little Time" Amy Grant

I'm Easy Like a Sunday Morning

Mike got a daily devotional book from the chaplains at the jail for Christmas. Though I haven't been the greatest at looking at it every day, I grab it when I think about it. Today's struck me a little bit.
In summary, it talked about wanting to take the easy way out of a challenge. A woman is invited to a party and the only thing left on the food list to bring is salad. She inwardly complained because her salads never turn out very well and would rather have brought a casserole or rice dish. Then she sees a note she had written to herself prior to this situation urging to challenge herself: "When you do hard things, your brain grows." In the end she stepped up to the challenge of making a salad for the party despite previous failures.
Now, you may be thinking, "Really? Salad? How can you mess that up?" Obviously making a salad was not the point I'm trying to get across. How many times do we get tested by God and try to find some easier way of doing it? In some ways, maybe He lets us get away with it. Other times He really wants us to use our noggins and talents that He has given us. There are many times that I would love to just cop out and say, "Nope. I'm not feeling it." I stay at home with my son and groom dogs when clients call for appointments. Even though I'm pretty good at it and love it, I freak out almost every single time I set up an appointment because I almost don't want to do it. My brain goes into overdrive and thinks of all the bad scenarios that could happen, and it's enough to make me want to take the easy way out and stop grooming all together, just so I don't have to face that possibility of rejection from the client. That's when God reminds me of my love for it and I'm okay.
God wants us to take the more difficult path because He wants us to grow, to learn. He doesn't mind if we make mistakes. That's how our "brains grow." And if we make mistakes, He wants us to turn to Him for the answers.

There's a quote I heard years ago that's stuck with me and I repeat it to myself occasionally in times of trial: "God doesn't like the easy way."

Dream Weaver

Last night I had the strangest dream. Now, I have some really weird dreams, even when I'm not pregnant! I also have had dreams (well, nightmares, unfortunately) come true. I don't realize what they're about until the tragic event happens, however. It's the reason I still believe that my friend didn't fall asleep at the wheel, but instead swerved to avoid hitting an animal. But that's not entirely what this post is about.
My dream last night is bugging me a little bit. It just seemed to have some sort of message to it, mostly by symbolism (you'll see what I mean), and I don't know how to even begin to interpret it. Yes, I'm into dream interpretation. I agree that some dreams are just jumbles, some sort of inner expression that releases itself at night (or whenever you're sleeping). But others are God's way of telling us something. Throughout the Bible there are examples of dreams being sent as warnings of things to come.
So, the dream...It's a little bit here and there, so bear with me as I describe it the best I can.

It started out I'm in high school, working on a group project with two other people. We're working in our group and a group member is discussing her opinion when the teacher (who happens to be Cammie Shelatz!) starts basically bullying her, and telling the student that her opinion is completely wrong and won't even let the student get a word in. I see this happening and finally interrupt Cammie/the teacher's rant against the student, completely blowing up, saying, "I try my best to be respectful to my elders/superiors, but I can't stand for this anymore. I'm reporting you!" And I get up and leave, I guess to report her.
(Here it gets a little goofy, but stay with me) That night, my group and I go to work on our project, which apparently involves filming a behind-the-scenes-type documentary on the beer-making factory that is run by the teacher, who is now played by my old band director, Mr. Cottrill (yeah, it's the same "character" just played by a different "actor"). Cottrill is still ticked off from my earlier blow-up in class and is making snide remarks while giving us a tour of the factory. Meanwhile, I'm trying my best to get all the footage I can that the process the factory uses is not beneficial to the community as Cottrill is saying, but instead hurting the community. I guess we get all the information we need and we leave. On the way out, there's a commotion in a nearby field, and looking through the dark, I see wolves running for their lives (here's where I feel any real symbolism starts, if any) from men dressed up in tribal-looking dress. We begin to be chased by men dressed in regular clothes, so my group runs to the car and leaves.
The next day is a school day. Well, I'm still ticked at Cammie/Cottrill/the teacher, so I skip class, reasoning that I'm a senior anyway, so I'll just say it's a senior skip day. I go to the parking lot to see a rival band packing up and recognize Nick Monteleone (he was a classmate I think a year or two ahead of me in real life...really kinda weird because we weren't close or anything by any means) who gives me a big hug. Well, behind him I see all these wolves tied up on a flatbed trailer. I am irate, and manage to convince Nick to release his wolf captive to me, to which his band-mates are arguing against. The wolf comes over to me with a pup tied to her leg. People gather and try to tell me that it's not my business and try to take the wolf from me, saying that she's wild and I can't handle her. Because I had saved her from whatever fate the other wolves are going to, she stands by my side and instead protects me from the crowd. An Indian tribal official steps forward and tells me that there's nothing I can do, to which I try in vain to plead with him to convince the people to let the wolves go, that there are pups there as well that are too young to survive, but he refuses and says it's for the best. As the truck with the trailer of wolves drives away, I start crying. The wolf I saved comes over and puts her face to mine and cries with me.
Then I wake up.

Yeah...let all that sink in.
To be honest, the first part of this doesn't bother me as much as the wolf "scenes." The only reason I put the school part is because it was part of the entire dream, and if anyone decides to interpret it, maybe there's some insight in that. Or maybe not. Or maybe this is just one of those random, disjointed dreams I have. I kinda have different categories my dreams/nightmares fall into:
1. Random, disjointed, almost psychedelic
2. Story-like (I kinda like these because they're so vivid and detailed, like most of my dreams, but it's basically like watching a movie...I hate waking up from these)
3. Prophetic
4. Pure nightmare (thankfully these are really rare)
5. Memory-like (these are usually when I see something in real life and it gets incorporated into my dream)
6. Symbolic (these are usually basically like the prophetic ones, but involve a lot more symbolism, such as a tornado representing stressful situations in real life)
I don't know if this one falls in prophetic, symbolic, or story-like. The end with the wolves really feels like symbolic, but I just don't know enough about dream interpretation. I looked up what a wolf meant and found this: "To see a wolf in your dream symbolizes survival, beauty, solitude, mystery, self-confidence and pride. You are able to keep your composure in a variety of social circumstances and blend into any situation with ease and grace. You are also a loner by choice. Negatively, the wolf represents hostility, aggression, or sneakiness. It may reflect an uncontrollable situation or an all-consuming force in your life. This could point to an obsession, an addiction or something that is beyond your control."
Anyway...so...yeah...this is a normal dream for me. It's not because I'm pregnant. You know, if you're pregnant you have really wacky dreams. I have those, too, though usually amped up when I'm pregnant, and they typically fall under the first category. But this isn't one of those. If anyone has any insight, I'd be open to hear it.

Here We Go Again

Another year down, another under our belts (well, if you wear a belt). As per tradition that I've kinda started myself on here, I'll give you a recap of our year, as well as hopes, goals, and "predictions" for next year.

1. I looked back at last year's post and saw I had put kind of a cryptic message for #7 about good news that I wasn't allowed to share yet and I had meant to go back and update, but never did. The good news had been that we had found out at Christmas last year that two of my sisters-in-law were pregnant and due about a month apart.
2. We had found out in the spring that we were pregnant with our second child. Sadly, after some complications, we lost our little one at only about eight weeks, only days after we had made the public announcement.
3. The same day that this happened, mom got the call in the morning that her father, my grandfather, had passed away. He was a great man. I remember him reading the book "Rosie's Walk" to me a time or two at his house, and also taking my brothers and I fishing down at the river on mom and dad's property.
4. One last sad note from this past year (they always happen in threes) was when a long-time family friend and dad's old boss and best friend passed away suddenly. Mr. Jenkins was dearly loved, not just by his own family, but our family as well (and I'm sure just about the whole community).
5. Jake turned three, which come to find out, has been thus far a somewhat sassier age than two. (*Sigh*) He is now afraid of the dark, but has discovered he likes holidays, mainly Halloween and Christmas. He is also almost fully potty-trained (Yay!).
6. My two sisters-in-law gave birth to their girls only days apart in July. Emory Catherine Miller was born to Eric and Anna. Kaedynz James Miller was born to Steve and Anna.
7. Due to the Miller side's...um...fertility, mom and dad had a new, much larger room built onto their house. We tested it out fully at Christmas this year and have found it barely efficient. ;-)
8. Speaking of fertility, Jimmy and Kristen announced that they are expecting! Their baby girl (yes, that means that all of my brothers have sired girls) is due late spring.
9. Mike and I discovered that, after the sadness in the spring, we are now pregnant again and due late spring of next year...only days after Kristen! We find out this Monday what we're having (yeah, yeah...we're having a baby).
10. Mike quit his job at AeroJet and accepted a job at Central Virginia Regional Jail in Orange. Thus far it's going well. The hours are better, as are the benefits.

I think that's the most of the big news from the past year. As for the coming year, Lord willing:

1. I always put the usual cliche "lose weight." Well, this time technically it'll be true, as I will hopefully give birth to a healthy baby come spring.
2. We'll also welcome Kristen and Jimmy's new baby.
3. By some miracle build a new (bigger!) house? (*Sigh*)
4. Jake will be FULLY potty-trained.
5. Mike will start official training for the jail. He's already had the basic, but in the spring he's got to go to Fredricksburg for more extensive training.

That's about it. I hope everyone has a blessed and happy new year!

Clean Up, Clean Up, Everybody Clean Up

Why is parenting so hard? Okay, I take that back. To tell you the truth, parenting isn't overall hard. It's the punishment part that sucks. For both you and the kid. I'm sure my mother (and any other more "experienced" parent reading this) is laughing her butt off. Don't get me wrong; my 3-year-old son is AWESOME and I love him more than about anything. He is usually very good and polite and plays well, either by himself or with others. He'll go for days, weeks even, without any major problems. And then, out of nowhere, maybe just to keep me on my toes, BAM! Full-blown insubordination. This comes from what happened this morning. He was playing out in the hallway upstairs while I was getting dressed and ready for the day. I was finishing up and told him to clean up so we could go downstairs. He replied with, "Hold on," and kept on playing. I told him again. He cleaned up two things and went back to playing. Before you know it, I'm threatening spanking, taking away toys, and time out, all the while he's crying and screaming his head off at me and (over)dramatically throwing himself on the floor. I'm sorry if this upsets anyone, but I approve of spanking. However, I had already counted to three twice (with the consequence being three solid whacks on the behind), and we still hadn't gotten very far. So I put him in time out in his room (we don't do time out as often, though I've been using it a bit more lately, especially when spanking doesn't seem to faze him) to get him to calm down. It took a few minutes, but it finally worked and the noise level in our house went considerably down.
Here's where the hard part comes in. You'd think the screaming and yelling and theatrics would have been the hard part. No. For me the hard part is hearing the sniffling and quiet talking to himself afterwards, softly explaining to no one why he had told mommy to wait and that he had only wanted to play with his toys and would have cleaned up when he was done playing (who knows when that would have been).
I don't want to scare off new parents with this story. Honestly, as I said before, my son is normally a great kid and very helpful. But every so often, this...CREATURE...rears its head for about an hour tops (usually not so long, but this morning it must have been restless to show itself and was milking it for all it was worth). And then we go on normally, and enjoy moments like this... :-)

The Gift

Having opened our presents yesterday at our house for Christmas, I am able to get on Facebook and look through all the pictures and videos of friends and family enjoying their Christmas mornings this morning. The best part is seeing the joy on all the kids' faces.
I think of the joy that must have been on Mary and Joseph's faces upon finally meeting their Gift. No, this Gift was not just for them to enjoy, but the entire world. For the wealthy wise men. For the lowly shepherds. For the young. For the old. For the healthy. For the weak. There should be joy on everyone's face, as they have been given the original Gift of God's son, who was sent for our salvation. No, He's not the latest phone or video game console or character doll. He is so much better.

16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.18 Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son. (John 3:16-18)

Merry Christmas to all!

God Bless America

This post may be praised. Or met with scorn and hostility. Or, heck, it might even be ignored. But I've seen and heard a couple things recently (okay, "recently" being at LEAST the last decade or so) that kinda sparked me to just write my humble opinion.
What is wrong with people?! I guess everyone wants their fifteen minutes of fame, their moment in the spotlight. When they suggest such things as taking down plaques off a school wall that's been there for twenty years or want to change the Pledge of Allegiance to take out "under God," all I can think is "What's the point?" It's been there for so long, why argue it now. If you don't like it or don't want your children to say it, then don't, and raise your children to do how you want them to do. If you don't like seeing it, don't look at it. If you don't want to hear it, change the topic, or the channel. This doesn't necessarily just include religious examples. People fuss about kids seeing too much violence on television. So program what your kids watch or don't let them watch TV. (*Gasp*) No TV?! You mean they'll have to...use their imaginations?! Noooooo! What's this world coming to?
Okay, sorry. That may have been a bit sarcastic. Just a tad. But seriously, people. I feel like these days EVERYONE has to complain about EVERYTHING (kinda like I'm doing now). And if it doesn't change to their way, it WILL be taken to court and publicized on every news station and tabloid in America. And sadly, I feel that religion is the main thing that takes a hit. Well, that and guns, but that could be another subject.
In my opinion, we NEED religion. Yes, I said religion. In fully reality, I truly feel we need God, but I'm trying to take baby steps here. Religion gives people something to believe in. If you don't have religion, what do you believe in? Hopefully at least you believe in right over wrong. But there's got to be a reason for everything. Yeah, I guess science can give reasons. But even science doesn't have all the answers. There are holes in science that have no explanation. If there's a hole in religion, it's filled with God. No, it may not be fully explained to you, but God knows the answer and maybe you're just not supposed to know it at this moment.
I know there's this whole thing of separation of church and state. And that may be some people's goal in throwing a snit about a little girl not being able to explain what her name Faith means in school. But I feel the majority of the pot-stirrers want everything religious removed just so they can fight the system and win. What is the point? Why is God so threatening to you? Why is celebrating Him and His Son so taboo? Does it hurt you to hear His name? Why are you so hell-bent on eradicating everything to do with religion? Yes, in a way I realize I'm coming off a little patronizing and sarcastic with these questions, but at the same time I really would like for someone to tell me the answers so I can better understand. I don't know that it'd necessarily change my opinion, but I'd like to know why a professional football player has to turn his Jesus shirt inside out. It doesn't reflect on the entire NFL. It shows HIS views. If you don't want your children to be around an etching in stone on the wall of the school, is it because maybe, just maybe, you're afraid they might believe? Is that so wrong?


*I know that this post is kind of all over the place, and I hope that you were able to follow along with my train of thought, even when it took a couple detours. This is a little rant that's been a long time coming, and I tried to put it down as comprehensibly as I could, but it was flowing out of my mind through my fingers and I kinda just went with it.

'Cause the Bible Told Me So!

So Michael and I are having a biblical argument...I was reading a small thing at the bottom of the article about an Westboro's plans to picket Robin Williams' funeral. It was "13 Things the Bible Forbids." I decided to read some out loud to Mike, and got to the part of not eating shellfish (shrimp, Mike's favorite!) and told him, kind of jokingly, that he was being bad. He demanded to know where that was in the Bible. I told him the verses, to which he replied I had to look at the context in which it was spoken. I told him God was telling the people what they could and couldn't do. He then demanded to know what people, to which I replied us. After some confusion, I explained what I was reading. Of course, then he wanted to know if it was from Westboro's site, which I said no, but it was an add-on for a story about them, but that it wasn't just THEIR beliefs, it's what is stated in the Bible.
He said it didn't apply to him because he isn't Jewish.
I kinda got frustrated and irritated with my husband at that point. I asked him if he agreed with homosexuality, to which he replied no, because it says so in the Bible that it's wrong (Leviticus 18: 22). I told him that by his reasoning it shouldn't apply to him because he's "not Jewish." When God gave these rules and regulations, yes, it was to the Jews at the time, but yet we as Christians still follow them today. Well, most of them. The ones we seem to like, such as "love thy neighbor" or "don't kill" seem to stick with us easier. And this is why people don't tend to like so-called Christians (not that my husband is a so-called Christian...this is a generalization). They pick and choose what they like and what they want to follow, and then to back up their belief, they declare "because the Bible said so." As I told Mike, this is why people have a hard time with Christianity because (and even I have a hard time with this) if he claims homosexuality is bad "because the Bible said so," then he should stop eating pork products and his beloved shrimp (Leviticus 11: 7-8). He claims he "could never be a Methodist" because they allow women to preach (other denominations may have women preach as well, but he just mentioned Methodists) which is wrong because women are not allowed to speak in church (1 Corinthians 14: 34-35). If he follows that, then he shouldn't have gotten his tattoos (Leviticus 19: 28). There's many other examples of such controversy between today Christians and how they choose to follow the Bible.
Normally this issue doesn't bother me, but in this instance it just irked me. That, and the frustration of trying to explain/defend my case to my husband and his unwillingness to concede to my views kinda made it escalate. If I really dwell on this issue, then it does bother me when we as Christians choose what we want to follow. This is one of the MANY reasons I'm, shall we say, less than happy with Westboro Baptist "Church," as they are ones that focus on one aspect of the rules and run away with protesting it. They need to pull the planks out of their own eyes before trying to get specks out of others' (Luke 6: 42). I realize I probably need to do the same, not to mention I'm sinning by gossiping about my husband (I love you, dear!) (Leviticus 19: 16). I'm not saying I'm perfect by ANY means. I try to follow the rules. I, myself, don't even know all the rules laid out. It just really irks me when people hide behind the Bible for one issue, but completely disregard other issues.

(*sigh*) This was a little rant-y, for which I'm sorry. But don't say you believe one thing "because the Bible told me so," and yet disregard others because you don't like them.

Okay...I think that is all.


*Apparently that wasn't all...I realize that by going on this rant and posting it probably broke hundreds of biblical laws in itself, thereby making it basically moot and putting me in the category of the mentioned "so-called 'Christians,'" and for that I'm sorry. I claim I "don't know much about the Bible," which is a true statement, and I am learning, but ignorance is not an excuse.

I've Had a Revelation

I feel like such a bad mommy. I let Jake watch WAY too much TV. Almost as soon as he wakes up in the morning, he asks to watch "his show" (which is one of a collection of kid shows). Don't get me wrong. His shows are for the most part educational, such as Sesame Street, Super Why, Leap Frog's Numberland, or Color Crew. He's got a few others like Bob the Builder and Tree Fu Tom that are kid shows, but not entirely educational. Today was evidence of how bad it was, though. Our power went out with the storm that blew through and he was in the middle of watching one of his shows when the TV cut off. He immediately started whining for me to turn it back on, and didn't fully understand why I wouldn't/couldn't do it. Then he literally cried over it. So I've decided to try (just TRY and see how this goes) to cut off the TV for a bit for him. Now, if I have a groom or something I might pop in a movie or put on one of his longer-running shows, like Sesame Street or something. And he does play with his toys or color, which is good. Or we'll go to the park for a little bit (unfortunately, even though we have a nice-sized, fenced-in back yard for him to play, it is swarming with mosquitoes and we get eaten alive within minutes of being out there...ick). He's not ENTIRELY addicted to the television. But I'd like to try it just for maybe a week and see how it goes.
Then I had another thought. While he watches television, I'm always on the computer or Nook playing games, on Facebook, or on Pinterest. Well, I can't exactly do that while he gets no technology, can I? I don't like being a hypocrite. So what I think I'll do is cut out my technology time and figure something else out. I have a few things that I've been wanting to do, but the computer screen has gotten in the way. I've got tons of books I have yet to crack open. I have crosswords and puzzle books I can do. I even have some crocheting I can work on (right now it's just a "popcorn" string for the Christmas tree, but I want to learn to do blankets and other things...Oh, mo-om!!!).
Now, I know some of you think I tried this before. Yes and no. Before I was going to completely cut out Facebook because there were some people bugging me. That lasted maybe a day. This time I'm not entirely boycotting it. I might get on the computer some after Jake goes to bed at night. I don't want to completely get off of Facebook because there's family and close friends I want to keep up-to-date with (so many babies coming into the world!). And I can NOT relinquish my Pinterest!!! How else am I going to plan what to do with my lottery winnings when the time comes? ;-)
Anyhoo...I'm thinking I might start Monday, since this is a holiday weekend and might be kinda crazy and off-schedule and such. Like I said, I just want to try it for a week and see how it goes. If anyone has any ideas for hobbies and such for me, I'll take suggestions!

Your Baby Blues So Full of Wonder...

This time three years ago, mommy was trying so desperately to get some sleep, but wasn't able to. Why? Because a certain little monkey wanted to play "hard to find," forcing mommy to stay hooked up to monitors to read your heartbeat. See? You always were a little mischievous, even in mommy's belly.
In a few short hours it'll be that bittersweet day of the year again. You'll be a whopping three years old (eek!), and though I love watching you grow and explore and learn, I realize it takes you further and further away from being that tiny baby mommy and daddy brought home. You've grown so much this year, Jake. You speak in almost full sentences now (and that just seemed to happen over a weekend when mommy was gone!). You're SO independent, wanting to do things yourself and after having done something exclaiming, "I did it! All by myself!" You're a big help to your papaw, especially with bringing tools and equipment to him when he's working on something (the big project this year is a room being built on mema and papaw's house). The build has seemingly been a big wonder to you. You've gotten to see up close a tractor working and a cement truck. Obviously you are typical boy, loving anything mechanical and...well...BIG and mechanical. Trucks, tractors, emergency vehicles, planes, helicopters...yep, you point every single one out to me or daddy. And a lot of times make their noises, too.
Aside from that, your television/movie loves are Sesame Street, Jake and the Neverland Pirates, Cars (especially Mater), Horton Hears a Who, Bob the Builder, Super Why, Animal Mechanicals, and Thomas the Train. I love how you now interact with your shows like Sesame Street and Super Why. You really like learning (which is AWESOME...please don't ever lose that). You like to get out your markers and paper and have mommy draw letters so you can trace them. You point out letters or numbers everywhere. You even turn your snack into the alphabet, biting corners or loops off of pretzels or graham crackers to turn them into letters. You absolutely love books, and typically want mommy to read to you at bedtime (sorry, daddy, I guess mommy just does it better!). Any time you can you present a book to mommy or daddy to read. Sometimes we'll read to you, or we'll tell you to "read" to us. I love the stories you come up with, both with books or with everyday things. You once told me that a helicopter couldn't fly because it was sick and had to stay home and watch Sesame Street.
You're so caring and attentive. You ask about your cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and even great grandparents all the time. If someone coughs or says ouch, you immediately ask, "You okay?" You want to see the doggies that come to the house for mommy to groom. You love your kitty cat, Cali. You pick her up whenever she lets you. When she cries, you ask her if she needs help. You help mommy every morning feed your own doggies, Lady and Sprite. You love animals in general, pointing out squirrels at the park or deer in papaw's field. You love when we get to go to Yoder's to see the farm animals there. Your favorites are the goats and pigs (when you see them) and think the turkey is funny when it gobbles at you.
Potty training is kind of at a standstill right now. You do wonderfully going pee pee but are still struggling with going poopy in the potty. Lately you've been telling mommy you need to go potty, but have already gone poopy in your underwear by the time you're there. You get so disappointed when that happens. It's frustrating, but you'll get it.
You also love music. You sing. You dance. You love to play instruments like mommy's keyboard or mema's piano or your toy drums or xylophone. Anytime music comes on a show, you stop playing and say, "Need to dance, mommy." And sure enough you do it. You have a Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer recorded book you got from Uncle Chris, Aunt Danielle, Emily, and Kaila one Christmas. On the last page, after Aunt Danielle finishes reading, your cousin Emily sings. You love to open just to that page and wait for Em to start singing, then you begin dancing around the room.
One thing mommy's really thrilled about is that you love going to church. You're a little nervous lately because we've changed buildings, and you aren't the greatest with change. But you still see Miss Dannielle and Miss Amy and Miss Christine and everyone and always have a good time learning about God and Jesus and the wonderful works that have been done and continue to happen all around you.
Well, you're asleep now and mommy needs to sleep, too. When you wake up you'll be three, or "free," as you proudly state now. You're growing up too quick. You're a sweet little man and mommy and daddy couldn't have asked for better. We love you so much, monkey.

Happy birthday, Jacob!

Listen to the Rhythm of the Falling Rain

Have you ever just sat and listened to the rain? It's quite peaceful and therapeutic for the soul. I decided to sit out on the front porch and just watch and listen (after the worst of the lightning dissipated). I've always loved listening to the rain (especially on our metal roof!) and watching lightning slash across the dark sky. It scares me a little when it hits really close, but in general it's so awesome to watch. And God created this, just as He's created...well...everything! It just blows my mind, really. He created the dark, raging storms, but He also created the bright, sunny days. So just remember that if there's a raging storm going on in your life right now, He'll send the sun to chase away the darkness and dry up the tears.
Who knows...maybe you'll be lucky enough to get it topped off with a rainbow.