I've been hearing Steven Curtis Chapman's song a lot lately (maybe it's a new song?). Some of you know Mike and I have been going through A LOT lately (like, since this year started). We haven't been able to catch a break, between Jake's hospital stay with pneumonia, my bronchitis at the same time, me injuring my ribs just coughing, Mike's beloved great aunt passing, Evie's dramatic entry into this world and subsequent hospital stay, and now Mike being out of work due to an injury that does not want to heal. And those are the big things that we've had to deal with. It's a little overwhelming. But I'm trusting that there's a reason (or reasons) for all of this. I'm finding myself trying to force myself to look for the good through this. Maybe it's my eternal optimism, or maybe it's because I will shatter through whatever it is that is barely holding me together and completely lose it if I don't.
I obviously don't know all the reasons for what's been going on. Heck, I may not know ANY of the reasons, but I can speculate, if nothing else, to make Mike and myself feel better.
For example, because Mike was injured and has been out of work, he has not had to take any additional time off to be present at the funeral nor for all the trips to go visit Evie in the hospital. I figure Evie spent so much time in the hospital to give me a chance to heal from surgery so I'm able to properly take care of her (and everyone else in this household!) when she got home. I'm not sure the reason(s) that Mike has not healed by now, and in fact needs even more time off and is now unable to do the academy this spring to further training for his job, but I'm sure there's a really good one. God has a reason for everything, and I'm trying my darnedest to trust Him completely. It's hard, but He's got this.
I don't normally like showing my struggles. I don't know if it's a "don't show weakness" thing I have or what, but I don't like letting people see this. I'm not looking for sympathy or anything like that. This is not post-partum. We've been through (and are still going through) a lot and I just feel I have to get this out somehow, some way or it'll eat me up. I in a way pride myself on being strong, but one can only be strong so long.
That being said, here's a little happy "playlist" that's been going through my head, if you were curious:
"Something Beautiful" ~Steven Curtis Chapman
"Worn" ~Tenth Avenue North
"You Carry Me" ~Moriah Peters
"Two Sparrows in a Hurricane" ~Tanya Tucker
"Get Back Up" ~Toby Mac
"Tubthumpin'" ~Chumbawumba (yeah, that's a throwback for ya!)
"Overcomer" ~Mandisa
"Stronger" ~Mandisa
"He Said" ~Group 1 Crew
I obviously don't know all the reasons for what's been going on. Heck, I may not know ANY of the reasons, but I can speculate, if nothing else, to make Mike and myself feel better.
For example, because Mike was injured and has been out of work, he has not had to take any additional time off to be present at the funeral nor for all the trips to go visit Evie in the hospital. I figure Evie spent so much time in the hospital to give me a chance to heal from surgery so I'm able to properly take care of her (and everyone else in this household!) when she got home. I'm not sure the reason(s) that Mike has not healed by now, and in fact needs even more time off and is now unable to do the academy this spring to further training for his job, but I'm sure there's a really good one. God has a reason for everything, and I'm trying my darnedest to trust Him completely. It's hard, but He's got this.
I don't normally like showing my struggles. I don't know if it's a "don't show weakness" thing I have or what, but I don't like letting people see this. I'm not looking for sympathy or anything like that. This is not post-partum. We've been through (and are still going through) a lot and I just feel I have to get this out somehow, some way or it'll eat me up. I in a way pride myself on being strong, but one can only be strong so long.
That being said, here's a little happy "playlist" that's been going through my head, if you were curious:
"Something Beautiful" ~Steven Curtis Chapman
"Worn" ~Tenth Avenue North
"You Carry Me" ~Moriah Peters
"Two Sparrows in a Hurricane" ~Tanya Tucker
"Get Back Up" ~Toby Mac
"Tubthumpin'" ~Chumbawumba (yeah, that's a throwback for ya!)
"Overcomer" ~Mandisa
"Stronger" ~Mandisa
"He Said" ~Group 1 Crew
